


A Thing That Happened

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Post - Deathly Hallows, Post-Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-13
Updated: 2013-04-13
Packaged: 2017-12-08 07:52:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/758927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry gets curious. Ron is less curious but, you know, that's what friends are for. Light Harry/Ron, mostly platonic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Thing That Happened

Harry’s auror training hours were generally such that by the time he was finished for the night, the crowd at the Three Broomsticks could best be described as “eclectic.” He and Ron often chose instead to get extremely pissed at the flat they shared, but generally only occupied sporadically.

Tomorrow Harry had his first day off after several straight days of work, and he’d already sent Ron an owl detailing the state of obliteration he hoped to achieve before bed, and could only hope Ron had taken the hint to make sure their liquor shelf—they kept swearing one of these days it would be a cabinet—was well stocked.

Hermione tended to avoid these evenings with Harry and Ron, not because she didn’t like drinking (although she naturally preferred wine) but because the conversation topics were perhaps rather too colorful for her tastes, and Ginny knew better than to involve herself in their post-adolescent wanking, as she called it.

It was a little before midnight when Harry flew home (he still had a stubborn aversion to the Floo network).

He sidestepped the pile of shoes at the doorway and found Ron in the kitchen scarfing down what was probably the remnants of a family pack of muggle crisps. Ron swore that Hermione introducing him to Tesco was an experience only comparable to the first time a muggle-born witnessed magic.

” ‘was ork, then?”

“I’m still not too keen on calling it work, as we’re not exactly being paid well yet, but it was fine. Firewhisky?”

” Not ‘ungry?”

“I’ll eat later. I need a fucking drink, first.”

Ron swallowed. “All right, pour me some too, then.”

\----

 

Two hours later Harry and Ron were quite happily eating toast (there had been a small burning incident, nothing a wand couldn’t fix) when Ron started the game.

“Who would you rather shag, McGonagall or Aberforth?”

“McGonagall,” Harry said, without thinking. Ron raised an eyebrow. “Well…she…I dunno…I know her better.”

“Guess I should be asking my great Aunt Mildred if she can make an appearance at your stag party, then?”

“We’re not engaged yet, Ron! And like Ginny’d allow that at my stag party, anyway.”

“Fair point. Your go.”

“Lavender Brown or Parvati?”

Ron’s ears went red. “That’s not fair to Hermione! But I’d be thinking of Padama the whole time…Still. Parvati, I suppose. They’re both all right, though.” He poured himself another generous serving of firewhisky. “Madame Rosmerta but she makes you dress up as a girl the whole time, or no sex for a month?”

“Madame Rosmerta.”

“You’d make a lovely woman, as you’re obviously of legal size to be one anyway.”

“Cheers, fucker. No sex for a year or no food for a year?”

Ron blanched. “I’d die!”

“From the lack of food, not in this scenario. From the lack of sex…well, time would tell. No wanking, it goes without saying.” Harry drained his glass.

“I suppose…no food. Wait no…yes. No! No sex! No! God, mate, I’d rather someone else choose for me.” He poured them both another round.

“You act like you’ve been shagging since you first knew where your prick was,” said Harry, rolling his eyes.

“It’s been over a year! And a half!”

“Yeah, but you’d spent, what, eighteen years as virginal as the pure driven snow before then.”

“All right, you go a year without sex and see how you like it then, chosen one. Sex with a bloke or no sex for a year?”

Harry pondered this. Both he and Ron’s glasses were empty again, and he’d lost count of the number of drinks he’d had. “Do I know him?”

“Does it matter?”

“Well, sure. I mean, if I have to, I’d rather us be mates, you know? Makes it easier.”

“You’re a right romantic, Potter.”

“I’m just saying. If I’m going to stick my prick up some man’s bumhole, I expect it might be cozier if I knew him well enough.”

“Who says you’d be the one doing the sticking?” Ron arched an eyebrow.

Harry threw his empty glass and it shattered against the wall. “What do you mean? I say!”

“Fine. Still seem awfully specific about it.”

“Sexuality,” said Harry, summoning and repairing the glass with a wave of his wand, “Is a mysterious shape type thing. Of mystery.” He poured himself another.

“Says the poof.”

“You’ve never thought about it, then? Someone’s a right liar. Also, a bigot!”

“Am not. I have no problem with it. I’ve just never thought about it! Why would I? Tits are the best part of sex, and men don’t have those.”

Harry bit his lip. “Yeah, but. Men like sex more. You’d have an interesting shag, that’s for sure.”

“Hermione likes sex quite all right, thank you!” Ron said loudly.

“I’m not saying she doesn’t. I’m saying with a bloke…you know…even snogging. It’s a different energy.’

“Have you been reading Ginny’s magazines?”

“Seeing as she leaves them out for the world to see!” Ron was becoming slightly fuzzy. Harry realized he probably should have had a more substantial meal before drinking this much.

Ron grinned. “I’ve read them too, mate. I’ve told Hermione quite firmly that some of those tips and tricks involve rather a lot of teeth for my liking, all things considered.”

“That’s what I thought, too!” They both laughed, and Harry put his arm around Ron’s shoulder. “Would you think I was a great poofter if I told you I’d rather shag you than any other bloke?”

“Yeah,” said Ron, filling both of their glasses. “I would. But I’d say the same for you.”

They clinked solemnly and drank. There was a strange silence.

“Still, though. I wonder.”

“Harry, if you want to shag me, just say so.”

“I do not! I’m just asking. Wondering. Thinking. ‘S like, we don’t know, do we?”

“Dunno what?”

“We don’t know. Whether men do anything for us. We’ve never tried. How do you know, you know?”

“Hermione does it for me, I know that.”

“No, well that’s all well and good, but she’s not the only human person who’s given you a stiffy, is she?”

“N-ooo.”

“Well, then. How do you know a bloke wouldn’t?”

Ron sat up straight. “You suggesting we try it?”

“Not shagging. Or anything. I’m just saying. You never know. Hermione might like it. Think you were…dunno..cultured or something.”

“I’m not asking round the shop tomorrow if anyone’s….oh…” his voice trailed off.

“I wasn’t saying! I mean…I wasn’t. I was just…you know…if anyone.”

Ron bit his lip. His face was quite red. “This didn’t happen, yeah?”

“No. Never. In your dreams, maybe.”

“That’s not what I…Oh, fuck it.” He grabbed Harry’s face with both hands and kissed him firmly.

It was…weird. Not good weird. Not bad weird. Just…weird. Harry wasn’t repulsed but he wasn’t anything else, either. He and Ron both had the fortitude to keep their mouths mostly shut. Ron’s lips were rougher than Ginny’s, but he didn’t exactly wear strawberry lip balm, so who was to say why? The kiss lasted a few seconds before Harry broke it.

“That was….”

They both turned away from each other, searching for words.

“A thing that happened?” Ron suggested, at the exact same moment Harry said, “Fine?”

They both burst out laughing. The room was spinning. Harry couldn’t remember being this drunk in quite a while. He wondered if Ron would be offended if he threw up.

“I love you for this, but I think my curiosity’s been satisfied,” he said. Ron nodded his agreement.

\----

 

Harry didn’t remember going to bed that night. They both pretended they had forgotten all about the kiss, but he hadn’t, and he had a feeling Ron hadn’t either.

He didn’t think he’d be eager to do it again, but he was glad it had happened. Just to be certain.

He prayed to every diety he could think of that Hermione or Ginny never found out. He knew he’d be taking this one to his grave.


End file.
